Wednesday, July 11, 2012

Listen to the coaching head...

You all have heard me talk about pushing yourself to the edge before. If you know me and have been following me, you know I tend to push myself to the edge a lot. I try to do this in every single workout, every single race and every single thing I do. It is how my mind works and I love it! I sometimes push myself beyond what I even think I am capable of doing..this is when I feel accomplished, like a true athlete.

The edge is sort of like my drug. I always reach my high at my edge, like most alcoholics reach their high when they get their drinks. It is why I love working out and love to run! It feels amazing, maybe that is why I would rather workout all day long than do anything else in the world.

However, the edge sometimes can be a dangerous place if your not careful. If you push yourself to far you might slip and fall with no one around to save you. The edge is awesome and scary at the same time. Tonight I felt myself get to the edge but I kept pushing to the point my toes were starting to hang off and very close to slipping.

I don't know why I think my body works like a machine.  I don't know why I think if I get enough water, enough food and enough rest I will be able to workout to my edge every single time.  It just doesn't work that way.  I am a human, not a machine... I break down even when everything should go right.

It hasn't even been 24 hours since I have had either heat exhaustion, food poisoning or the flu.  I don't know why I felt the need to join my running team tonight to do a speed workout. Especially, since I spent the last 2 days in the bathroom, in bed and having body aches.

My coaching head told me to stay home and rest; it is to soon to be pushing yourself that much when you were that sick.  My athletic head was saying come on you will never get better sitting on the coach. I didn't listen to my coaching head tonight, I listen to my athletic head.  Not smart at all.

The athlete got me there but the coach got me to stop after mile 4.  I started to get chills and stomach cramps around mile 3 but I kept pushing myself...that is when I could see myself looking over the edge.  If I kept pushing myself I knew I would slip and I would most likely be sick again or worse in the hospital.  I continued to run one last loop at a very slow pace.  I took a break after mile 4 and had a lot of water while sitting in the shade.  Then made the one mile hike back to my car. Total run tonight was 5.5 miles.

I don't like to quit because it feels like I lost the battle.  I hate it.  As I ran back to the car I kept telling myself that I should have done at least 2 more miles, even when I knew in my head made the right choice. As I sit here now I still struggle with the fact that I stopped running because it got to hard.  Was it to hard because I was sick or was it to hard because I was being a baby? Whatever the reason I know I will not be in the hospital tomorrow because of it and I am pleased with that!

So the moral of the story is... push yourself to your edge but don't push yourself so far that you fall off.  Always listen to your body and not your head.  If you are like me you will want to do what your head tells you to do.  But the coaching head is always right so follow it! :) Lesson learn! This girl will listen and follow its advice from now on!

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