Ultimate Bad Ass

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As I sit here looking down at my bruised legs, banged up arms and I am 100% sure I have bruised ribs from this past weekends Tough Mudder Adventure.. I can't help but smile! I feel a deep sense of pride, accomplishment and satisfaction that I was able to run 23 miles and complete 48 obstacles all in a 24 hour period.

I am going to guess many of you think I am crazy. I am sure you are saying "One Tough Mudder race is crazy enough. But to turn around and do another one in less than 24 hours well that is just plain stupid." Maybe! But sometimes stupid crazy is a good thing. I just happen to be surrounded by over 20,000 stupid crazy people just like me during the race. We all have a one thing in common, we are bad ass!

Here is my race recap...

Saturday April 14, 2012
Amherst, Ohio
Race time 1:00
Cold, Windy. Low 50's
Finished time 3 hours and 50 minutes

Sunday April 15, 2012
Amherst, Ohio
Race time 8:20
Sunny, slight wind. Mid 60's
Finish time 3 hours and 38 minutes

I normally don't travel the day of a race but since our race time wasn't till 1:00 we decided to go up that morning. As we drove 2 hours North we started to talk about our fears but never once did we say we would back down. We encouraged each other and I think most of us said a few silent prayers. The weather wasn't looking the best and we knew this might be the hardest obstacle of all. 80% chance of rain with thunderstorms, wind and very cold temperatures. The good news is that there was never a storm, but it did rain before the race and a few times during the race.

My team gathered together and headed to the starting line. We were busting with excitement when Shawn gave us his amazing motivational speech. He reminded us that we were all one team and that we should not leave anyone behind. He talked about men and women who risk their lives every single day for us. The wounded warrior is what this race is all about. So we honored them, sang the National Anthem without music and cited the Tough Mudder Creed. We gave each other high fives, smiled and said Let's do this!

Our first obstacle was High Steppin. This obstacle required you to jump over 15 waist high walls. This obstacle looks simple but it was for sure challenging and got the heart pumping. At this point we were still pumped and couldn't stop smiling. We knew that ahead of us would be some really challenging obstacles but we didn't care we were having fun!

The next challenging obstacle that we approached was Arctic Emena. Just saying the name of this obstacle gives me chills. Arctic Emena is a dumpster full of water and ice. In order to get to the other side of the dumpster you must swim under a board. Saturday was I was disappointed because the dumpster was only waist deep and you could just walk under the board. It was still cold but it wasn't as bad as Sunday. Sunday's Emena was the real deal. The dumpster was full and in order for me to get out I had to dive under the ice cold water to get to the other side. I swear nothing can prepare you for this obstacle. It seriously feels like you can't breathe and that your heart might stop. This obstacle is Tough Mudder's Welcome mat.

The obstacles continued and team Auto- team stayed strong. We climbed over bails of hay, 12 foot walls, and ran in some smoky fire. The mud was insane. It was hard to walk in let alone run. I know that the Tough Mudder is a mud run, but I never imaged that the mud would be everywhere. Needless to say I enjoyed the mud!

The air was very cold a few of us started to shiver. Not a good thing when you know you have more water obstacles and 8 more miles to go. Then came the wonderful plank. I never knew that I had a fear of jumping off things till this Tough Mudder. The plank was 20 foot high and to get down you needed to jump into the freezing quarry that is 40 feet deep I might add. When we got to the top of the plank I started to panic. I told my teammate Lindsay Groom that if I didn't jump to push me. The guy counted 1...2...3. I stood their frozen like an statue. I didn't have time to think because Lindsay gave me a quick tap forward, I was pushed in. On the way down you could hear me yelling "you bitch" at Lindsay. When I hit the water I felt like I could die. This water was colder then Enema and for a second I started to think of the people on the titanic. I was so close to calling over a lifeguard because I couldn't breathe, but some how I was able to manage to swim to the side and jump out. Lindsay said she was sorry, I gave her a high five and thanked her for giving me the push I needed.

I hated the Plank but this was the obstacle that made me realize why I love this race so much. I was scared to death on Sunday because I knew how it felt on Saturday. I actually convinced myself on Saturday night that I wouldn't do this obstacle Sunday morning... but I did it because a real Tough Mudder doesn't give up because of fear. I told Justin another teammate of mine that if I didn't jump to push me off yet again. We got to the top and I froze. He was about to push me when I told him I needed to do this alone. So I did, I jumped! Screamed like a baby the whole way down but I completed the obstacle alone and that made me feel like I would be able to complete the rest of the race with no problem.

As we continued on, we started seeing people cramping up. Some looked as if they could die because of the cold and some were trying their hardest to continue on. This is another reason I love this race. Every single person supports one another. There is no I in this race. You see someone down, you race over to help them get back up. You stretch the guy out who is having killer leg cramps and you pray for the ones that are pulled off the course. If the world could function like a Tough Mudder race this world would be amazing. People helping each other out no matter what age, race or gender. It is bad ass I tell you and you will never know how it feels unless you go run one of these races.

The next obstacle that was new to me was Dirty Ballerina. This obstacle was mud hills but in between each hill was trenches of water. You had to jump in the water that was shoulder deep to get up the little stoney, muddy hill. This obstacle took teamwork, true tough mudder magic! You lift your hand up and someone was always there to support you. Then you turn around and support the next person. I had to stop halfway to put on my gloves since the hills were ripping up my hands. This was hard work and it felt like the obstacle would go on forever. Once we finished the Dirty Ballerina we regrouped. Gave each other the encouragement to continue, laughed and moved forward.

We did Boa Constritor, Devil's Beard and Kiss the Mud. The next obstacle that we all felt was challenging was the Electric Eel. This obstacle got me 10 times in Phoenix so I was very worried about it. On Saturday there was no water, which was a blessing. I didn't get shocked. But Sunday was a completely different story. There was a ton of water. As I army crawled under live wires, I stared to question my sanity. I got shocked 4 times. Getting shocked doesn't feel good by the way, especially when you are in water.

Next came the funky monkey, the adult monkey bars. Tough Mudder put barb wire all around it so there was no way I could climb on top of the bars this time. My hands were so numb there was no use to trying. So I just jumped in the water and swam to the other side. No one on our team made it across. I am happy to say that on Sunday I did make it a few bars before I fell into the cold ass water.

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We came across another set of walls. In the Tough Mudder race there is no ropes to help you get across. You have to rely on one another to get to the top. The walls are 15 foot high and there were two sets of them. For me I had to have two guys support me and push my feet up so my hands could grasp the top. Some guys could get over without support, but most had to lend a hand. It is really hard to trust someone you don't know but in this race you know your fellow mudder would never drop you.

Hanging Tough was up next. This obstacle is impossible. You have to swing from one Olympic style ring to the other. I would say there is maybe 10 rings? Saturday I hung on one forever and just fell straight into the water. Sunday I made it across two rings. I consider that a huge success since I feel like my upper body is very weak. Phil made it across and a few others from our team did so too. My goal for the next race is to get across four, if this obstacle is there!

Log Jammer was next. This obstacle I love! You go over a log, then under, then over... repeat. There is barb wire everywhere, stones on the ground and nothing to really grip when you go over. I love that it makes my heart race and my muscles get angry. I hope this obstacle is at every single race I go to this year. Sure it is easy but I love it no matter what. At this time in the race some of our teammates were dealing with cramps and had no energy left in them ... this obstacle didn't let them forget that the cramps were there I am sure of it.

We high fived each other, knowing the end was near. We still had to complete 1.5 miles to get our lovely orange headband. Not only that we had two extremely hard obstacles to get over Mount Everest and Electric Shock Therapy.

We got to the half pipe, or better known as Everest, which requires you to run full speed to make it to the top of a 20 foot half pipe. This obstacle requires faith in your teammates. You also have to have something deep in you to want to get to the top. It is not easy because it is super slippery with all the mud from our feet.

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I had to dig deep if I wanted to make it to the top. I took off running; praying I would make it on the first try. I leaped into the air and grabbed the hands of two men. I yelled "please don't let go!" They got me to the top in one try! I was pumped and excited that I made it to the top with no problem at all. We all made it to the top! Sunday it took me two attempts to get to the top but again I made it up successfully without cutting up my legs or breaking my arm.

.5 miles to go. The last obstacle is one most fear the most...Electric Shock therapy. You have to try to run threw 10,000 volts of live wires. I knew from Phoenix that you will get shocked. So plow as fast as you can to get to the other side. I was so happy to see that Saturday the wires were all tangled and I could easily walk to the other side. This was not the case on Sunday. Justin and Brian went first Sunday and made it across in one piece. I knew I had to go but was worried because I didn't know really how to complete this obstacle without getting shocked. My teammate Bill told me to go ahead of him so he could get me running on film. I took a big deep breath in and took off as fast as I could. I was not even three feet in when I fell flat on my face. The shock took me down and hard. I tried to get up but the wires kept shocking me. I could hear the announcer Shawn saying you have to get up or you will keep getting shocked. I wanted to yell I am freaking trying. Finally, I told myself you can stay here all day and continue to feel this pain or you push yourself to get up and run the remaining 7 feet. I got up and bolted ahead getting shocked a few more times.. but I made it!

I was crowned not just one but two orange Tough Mudder crowns (headbands). On Saturday I felt so happy that all 18 of us made it without dying. Sunday when I was crowned I felt like I was unstoppable. I got my free beer and celebrated with my team on both days.

In the end everyone made it both days. The funny thing is about this race is that I didn't even know my team. We all found each other on facebook and met up the morning of the race. These people are not just facebook friends to me, they are now part of my Tough Mudder family. They were with me at my worst and was there to push me forward when at times I wanted to quit.

This race just does something to me. It does make me feel like I am unstoppable and that I am a true bad ass.. but it also does something much more. It makes me realize that it is okay to trust people, to let your guard down, smile, have fun and enjoy the obstacles that might stand in your way. It makes me see that life will never be easy and it is full of messy screwed up obstacles. You have the power to push yourself over the edge, to jump over the obstacles and to say screw you world I will do this my way. It might take a team to help you over some obstacles and it might take you reaching out your hand to someone you don't know. But I do know that obstacles are nothing when you believe you are worth it and that you can do it. We all can do amazing things and if it takes running 11.5 miles around 26 obstacles in mud and ice to understand that then so be it.

So I ask you this.. how can you feel like an ultimate bad ass? It might not be a Tough Mudder race or any race for that matter...All I can say it is worth trying to find that ultimate bad ass in you... it is worth stepping off the plank realizing that fear is just in your head. Challenge yourself! Make yourself see that you too can be unstoppable.... If you want a real challenge join me in my next Tough Mudder. I promise you that you will not regret doing it and you might even find yourself along the way.

Big thanks to my Tough Mudder team. Without you I wouldn't have been able to complete two races. Bill and Justin you two are bad ass! I love that we together were able to complete the course two days in a row. Without your support I would have fallen short on Sunday.

I wish every day could be a Tough Mudder day.....

Ohio Mudder this weekend

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This Saturday and Sunday I will be driving 2.5 hours north to a small town called Amherst, Ohio. This is where I will be taking my second and third Tough Mudder challenge. I have so many emotions running deep inside me. My first Mudder was awesome, fun and rewarding. But my first Mudder I had no clue what I was getting into. I know now what is ahead of me and I think that worries me the most.

Arctic Enema is the one challenge I fear the most. Who in their right mind would want to jump in a dumpster full ice and swim across it? My mind most not be right or at least that is what my friends think when I tell them about the obstacles I have to complete. Nothing prepares you for a race like this besides having the ability to truly believe you are badass. When I walk up to that starting line I will be fearless, I will be in my mind a super hero..whatever I got to do to get me to the finish line!

I can't wait for this mudder! Arizona was awesome with Corinne, but this mudder I am signed up with a big team. 18 members running together to accomplish one thing. Out of those 18 members I know one person, however I am 100% sure we will all become family after this race.

Race time on Saturday is 1:00. Sunday is 8:00.

I say bring on the challenge, blood, ice and mud. I am ready to beat up my body, to push myself to the edge. I am ready to be badass again!

To all you mudders out there. Be safe! Think with your head first. If your body is screaming go around an obstacle do it. NO race is worth killing yourself or injuring yourself. Push yourself to your edge, help your fellow mudder but mostly be badass.

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I am 100% sure that putting pictures online of myself in a swimsuit will never get easier. I honestly feel like I could puke every single time I do it. SERIOUSLY! This is hard people but I want to prove that with hard work, healthy eating and rest you can get results. The picture with my hair down was taken Feb 19th. I was 149 at that time. I am currently down to 144. Which is the smallest I have been since college. Since January 25th I have lost a total of 10 pounds.








I haven't been to my gym since Feb 16th. All my workouts (minus my runs) have been in my basement. I have been mixing up my workouts with Les Mills Body Pump, Turbo Fire and Asylum. I been running 2-3 times a week to prepare for my tough mudders and half marathons. I take Shakeology every single day and continue to eat healthy.











I am so pleased with my results. I have come a very long way. I can honestly say out loud that I am happy with myself and my workouts. I still have the "Fat Girl Thinking" and I am sure it will take years to beat her out of my mind. After crossing the finish line of my half marathon in Florida, I remember asking my mom did I look fat running into the finish line? After I said that I yelled at myself. I just took a successful moment (Personal Recorded) and clouded it with my "Fat Girl Thinking" I knew I didn't look fat because I looked fit and healthy but there is and probably will always be part of me that thinks I am still that college girl who was almost 200 pounds. I have come a very long way. Weight lose can't happen over night. If you are looking for the magic method you may lose weight fast but you will always gain it back. It has taken me 10 long years to be this weight. 10 long HARD years but during those years I learned the correct methods and the healthy way to make this a lifestyle NOT a diet. I can't wait to see what happens in my next result pictures! I hope to see a little bit of a six pack and some smoking hot legs!

Emotional runs

"I cried twice out there. It was beautiful. The people all along the way, standing there, cheering, yelling to you. I couldn't help myself. I cried twice." -Walt Ganty, running at Boston

Runners often have emotional reactions when they participate in a race. Spectators, too. They break down at the finish, just completely exhausted, happy and yes even tears.

It's a tremendous release, relief. People are often understandably and justifiably overwhelmed by what they've accomplished. They've worked so hard, for so long, to achieve this one goal and now they have done it. They can finally let go.

Sometimes the tears aren't directly related to running, but rather to an unresolved issue in that runner's life. Perhaps a runner is in morning over a loss of a loved one. The runner expends so much energy in the race, the barriers come down. This allows the runner to release emotions and possibly even to let the healing process to begin.

There are lots of ways in which people find emotional release in their lives. Through church, through therapy. Others find the release they so need by a simple easy run through the woods at sunrise.

Whatever it is your handing on to, whatever weighs you down emotionally, whatever touches your heart with sadness running can help you with it. Run and just let go.

Running allows me to release my sadness and anger. It is the one place I can be mad at the world, I can cuss, I can scream and I can cry. There is no one out there to judge me. No one to tell me I am acting like a fool. If my emotions are on high or if I am confused with life, I just have to lace up my shoes and head out the door. I am always feel better and am less confused when I return. I am able to let go, really let go.

So if you are struggling with life or if you need sometime to just be alone, give running a try. If you are like me you will realize this is the one place where all emotions are okay. Let go! Be you!

Do not postpone your dream...

We Make our own realities, our own fate and our own luck... We control our lives, our behaviors and the way we view the world. YOU control you! The only person you have to listen to is yourself. We are powerful....YOU are powerful. All you have to do is believe.

Every day we need to remind ourselves how awesomely powerful we are and can be...

We dream for a reason, dreams are not our accidents. I honestly believe that our dreams are what is meant to be...problem is so many people think dreams are just that, dreams. That is far from the truth, dreams can happen, we just have to learn to do our part.

There is nothing you CAN'T do, there is nothing you CAN'T have and nothing you CAN'T be. You have the power to control your world! The life that you desire can be won. If it exists in your mind, it is real, possible.. yours.

Every day you postpone your dreams, life moves faster. You forget about the life you dreamed of because the clouds move in. It gets foggy and you lose hope. So many people spend life wishing for things. Why spend time wishing? Just get busy working on getting the life that lives deep inside you.

I have three close friends that are actively living their dream. All three of these friends are training for their first half marathon. They didn't just sit on the sidelines and wait for the race to come to them. They are living in the moment, doing their part for their dreams to become a reality. It makes me smile, thinking that just a few months ago they only wished they could run/walk a half marathon some day. I am so happy to have the honor to run/walk with them on their first race. All it took for them was to take that first step, controlling their own lives.

It takes one step, one big step to reach that dream you might have. I am not saying the road will be easy but I am saying that YOU CAN DO ANYTHING! You have the POWER in you, the drive to achieve... so stop wasting another minute wishing and starting living your dream!

Double Dare

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Everyone remembers the classic Christmas movie where Flick gets dared to stick his tongue to the on freezing cold pole on the school playground. You know the scene right? You swore to yourself you would never try something so silly. I bet half of you have tried something similar to this story. Maybe it wasn't the freezing cold school playground pole but I bet it was something close. Why is the double dog dare so hard to walk away from? Temptation..maybe? Challenge..probably? Showing your friends that you are way to awesome to walk away from a double dog dare you..Absolutely!

I love a good challenge, a double dog dare you sort of speak. My first triathlon was done because a friend told me I couldn't do it. I smiled at him and said "Watch me." I got the best bike, best shoes and the best advice from friends who are true triathletes. I trained super hard, killed myself in fact. I wasn't going to let this friend of mine call me a wimp. I finished that triathlon, as well as the next triathlon he said I couldn't do. I have actually called out a double dog dare you to him, Olympic triathlon. Guess what? He didn't show on race day! He also didn't show up for the full Marathon, nor the Tough Mudder. I won the double dog dare you and I continue to win every time I finish a race without him being there. I will never let him forget it either!

I double dog dare myself every single morning I wake up. Everyone thinks it is easy for me to workout and eat healthy. Guess what? It is far from easy, in fact I struggle all the time. I work hard but I do fail sometimes. When i fall down I get back up every single time. So many people fall off the fitness and health wagon. The difference between them and me is I believe in myself enough to get back up. When I fall off I tell myself you will do it harder, faster and stronger next time. I dare myself to believe in the unbelievable.

Tonight, I double dog dare myself yet again. I have always been afraid of trying cross fit and Krav Mage because it is something that is out of the norm for me. I decided to go! It kicked my @ss, I wanted to die, puke and die again. But guess what? I smiled the whole class, as my body trembled in pain. Still two hours later my body is still trembling and I love it! If I didn't dare myself to step outside my box, I would not fallen in love with a new workout.

So I ask you this..What can I dare you to do? Will it be to eat healthy for a week, try a new workout routine, get out of an unhealthy relationship, go on a date, chop off your hair..etc. It is worth it! It is worth challenging yourself. Maybe you will fall but I can promise you will get back up and you will have a story that you will remember for life!

Do something crazy.... I double dog dare you!

Look inside yourself!

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I am currently reading a book called Running the Edge. In this book it divides live into five stories: education, family, career, friendship and passion. Each of us live these five stories at all times. But each story is not the same. Some stories are stronger than the others. I find that to be the case in my life.

This book has pushed me to think to my edge in the last three days. It made me really look deep into myself and realize I am successful at three of my five stories. Every day I have the passion and the drive to make those stories extraordinary. I always give 150% in my passions, friendships and education. My actions and decisions in these three stories have not been easy, in fact sometimes the journey has been unbearable. But what is it about these three stories that I am able shake off a bad run, failed test or a huge fight with my best friend. Why am I able to move forward on my journey in these stories but not the others.

This book is making me evaluate my life, which I can tell you it not an easy thing to do. It is like a job interview on your own life. You have to figure out your flaws, evaluate your qualities and be honest with yourself. Just by reading this book I am confident that I have been my own demon in two of those stories.

When I talk about family I am not talking about my mom, dad, brothers or sisters. Sure I could give a little more in this story, but the story I am talking about is relationships. I suck at them, actually I don't do them. I push men away from me because I am so worried that I will lose myself. I been hurt but that doesn't give me the right to hurt others or to let someone in. I have done this to so many people in the past and I am finally realizing this is my biggest flaw. I deserve to be loved and I deserve to give someone my love, but why is it so hard for me to do that? I push a lot of people away who I know that can make a big impact on my life. This is part of my stories that I have to work on.

Another story in my life that I need to focus some of my energy on is my career. I have a great job, I have great students but that at times just isn't enough. My Dad doesn't understand how I can't be happy in my job. I am happy but I just don't feel fulfilled. I don't feel like I am doing what I was put on this earth to do. I know this but this is where the story starts to turn. I have already realized that I need a change but I continue to do nothing. Why? I am scared, afraid and nervous that I don't have the potential to do anything else. All I know and have known is how to teach. I continue to stay in my happy place, my true confront zone.

I don't want to live my life pushing people away and just living in my confront zone. The way I see it is I have two choices. I continue to live a normal life or I push myself to a new edge to live an extraordinary life. I can start a new journey of a life that I always dreamed about as a child. I can start making fewer mistakes, take more chances and start living my own pursuit of happiness.

We all have it in us to push ourselves to a new edge every day. We can change our ordinary normal lives into something powerful, amazing and live a life you can't wait to wake up to every day. We need to seize the day! Because tomorrow we could be gone. I plan on doing this, I plan on finding a new way to live. I plan on being excellent at all five of my stories of life and I hope to god you do too!

Please go out and get Running the Edge! Best book I have read to date!